Today..

Don't remember as when was the last time I updated this space. But it's been for a while now. Classes and then loads of work in the office.weekends are the time I get to sit at home and relax. But I end up going out for something or the other.

Watched 'jab tak hai jaan' today. In fact watched a movie after a long time. I liked the concept. Everything has got a time - be it love or anything else.Everything happens for a reason and He is the one who writes our story in his own way. A subject like love and relationship still confuses me. But whatever it is I'll sit back and would take  life as it comes. And somehow for the past few days there's a feeling that has erupted inside me - to meet my Delhi friends. To see them how they are doing - to sit and relax with them and of course to laugh with them. Really cherish those old days.Abhishek, Sarika, Rajeev, Kunal to name few who worked with me.you laugh at your own worries and trouble when in a company of good friends. I miss them all.

I'll update this space with more thoughts soon. Till then peace! 

Him

I met him and his family finally.It felt as if they had come to meet us to complete the formality. I didn't knew that I'll end up liking this guy.we exchanged pleasantries after our families met. I still don't know why he said that he would talk to me over the phone nice he goes back when was asked by his father to talk to me. He is 36 yrs old and didn't get the feeling as if am meeting someone who is that old. I liked everything about him - his personality, smartness, how he conversed, how he was dressed (formals - thank god no tight jeans) -his small little eyes and of course his small bulging tummy. There was one point when he was talking to everyone and I almost lost myself in his words. He s the first guy whom I've actually liked in the first meeting.thats a different story that we did not talk - still don't know the reason. I waited for his call last weekend thought he would callback but he didn't. I have no regrets. I went thru some beautiful feelings and emotions after meeting him. Not aware of his true nature and behaviour but whatever it was that day that was good :)he is just like the way I wanted him to be :) still no regrets . I am still happy. Life is all about experiences so mine is no different :)

That mesmerising night

Day passed by and it was good being Friday :) except few people at work things were good. Now 4 days break ... Ahhhhaaaa...

While on my way back to home today got completely lost on thoughts. Suddenly I realised that Rajeev used to be great guy once upon time. He always made me smile no matter how bad my mood used to be.somewhere down the lane I somehow missed all the old folks. I took my cellphone and instantly dialled Rajeev's number without giving it a thought.he said he would call back Ashe was at work and tomorrow would be day to talk - being weekend. He sounded in a good chirpy voice and mood- so that's a good sign.

Few days back again while coming back from work I looked up and started to stare at the street lights which were shining brightly on the sides of the road. The more I looked t it and swiftly got transfered to my Delhi days. That feeling was awesome. I completely lost  myself to Delhi thoughts. There was something mesmerising about those lights. It was one unexplainable feeling I went thru that day.

Feeling tired and wanted to sleep now. Neck pain still troubles me. Add on to it the ear pain. Bhudaapa aa gaya, Sally! Good night !

Today

Will try to update this space everyday. This would be the where no one can judge me. This is where I'll try to talk to myself. I know this voice from my heart cannot be heard by you but that's alright. People call this phase as 'life' and I too would join them in saying this. Talking to oneself is not easy. You can talk and think but when you share it with someone it's like you've been heard. Zindagi ka kattu satya yeh bhi hai ....ab joh cheez mere liye nahi hai means nahi hai. Kya kar sakte hain. Ek baar dekh liya hota ki kaisa lag raha hai un shabdo aur baaton ko sun ke -sirf ek baar. Ek fariyad humne bhi kari lekin kya karein umeed karte karte zindagi beet gayi .....

Shell

Would be hiding from all for a while. I need answers, need to be firm on few things. Also, have to sort out few things. There's my shell and would be in there for a while till I figure out few things. 

Christmas Greetings and usual blah blah

Merry Christmas to every soul on this earth!

What a week to start with. Shifted to our new apt last Monday and today is the Christmas. Every damn little things was suppose to be in order and ghar as usual should look clean on this D-day. We somehow managed to achieve our target :)

Last week spoke to this guy. Someone suggested this proposal. This guy wanted to talk to me before anything could be initiated by our families. Today I pulled up the guy's profile in FB and went thru his pics. Tom Cruise tom cruise hi hai aur Mohit Raina is Mohit Raina :D talking about the guy, he went to States after completing his 12th std in India - Madurai. He asked me about faith, do I go to CSI/CNI church (what diff would it make - point should be whether I go to Church or not) then whether am active in Church related activities ( I always believed in giving back to society - you do it by joining Church related activities or otherwise). I've never stopped people in participating in Church related activities - its a personal decision. I told him that it hardly makes any diff. to me as the crux which comes out from all the Holy books are the same. He said that he would disagree with this point and is debatable. Per him religions contradict each other in some ways. He wouldn't like to believe something which people has said. Rather he would like to analyze and then come to a conclusion. He asked questioned his own religion too in the past (God knows) Sir, its good to analyze but not in all the situations of life. Analyze and tell me how would you love another human being. I understand he must be one of the brainy and intelligent guys around but I feel he still has to broaden up his thoughts when it comes to South/North of India and faith. I found him boring - there were few pauses in between as I also didn't feel like asking (you can't ask everything in one go u see :D ) And then in the end he asked me to call him or atleast buzz him if I had any questions. Man - you wanted to talk to me not I. I sincerely have no idea why guys settled/lived in states talk so much of rubbish when it comes to religion. His parents has not even once called us. It was my parents calling up them. Now they've stopped. But it seems they might turn up one day.

Now today while going thru his pics on fb found out that he wore some golden ring in his finger in his right hand where usually guys put their engagement rings. Also, when he was in US saw that ring on his finger but in the later pics it wasn't there. It was a big ring too. Not sure whether this guy went thru broken engagement.  I don't trust - not even 1% - specially guys living in States. And no body would come up to me and tell me the number of girls he had slept with. No one at home knows that his pics are avail on fb and I've went thru them.

I want to go for dental treatment to get the protruding upper front teeth corrected. Doctor has advised it would take an years time for the treatment. Now folks are slightly worried about it as my mother has asked me as what I would do if I get married in the next couple of months. To hell with marriage - am done with Indian men. The day it has to happen it will. I can't keep postponing my present for someone who hasn't turned up so far. Indian men are hypocrites. They draw and treat girlfriends and wives differently. Still don't believe that I was raised in the same society. Sick.

I'll sign off with few thoughts on my mind!

crushes II

How can I forget those guys who made my heart go tick-tick - aaaaaah

this guy who interviewed me  - that was couple of months ago

And this other guy who I met in this bank :)

They were so sweet and cute :D