Was completely stressed out by the events which occurred in the past week on my personal as well as on my professional end. To start with my personal end, I was made to meet a man & talk to him for 5-10 mins. I found those 10 mins the hardest moments of my life. To start with the story- this proposal was sent by my very own mamaji , reason- the guy is good & he is working in Delhi for the past few years. My parents went to see him initially. Then they decided to call the boy at our place so that 'we' (I and the boy) can 'see' each other. I had split off last week so wanted to relax on my week off but then meeting the boy was made the priority for me for that one day. I hated it but then ws left with no choice. Finally they guy came with his cousin & an uncle. Initially I was confused as who is the 'eligible boy' but somehow figured it out after few minutes of talk. His cousin did the entire talking part. N' i did not like the guy on the first instance. I thought they'll leave after few minutes. But the boy'cousin pushed 'us' to talk for few minutes though I wasnt quite interested. God, those were the toughest and the hardest minutes of my entire lifetime. I knew how I managed to talk to him. I did not ask any questions. He had questions which I answered honestly. There was some pressure from my parents to say "yes" to this proposal but I straightaway said "No" because it was a big NO from my side. Thats it. Period.
On the professional side, I was struggling to convince my manager that I wasnt at fault - an incident which happened almost a month ago n' no step was taken by my immediate boss. I was hurt by all this then came this another episode. I was forced to get examined by the doctor because they suspected me of swine flu. I had cold because of weather change n' they suspected me. Once again I failed to convince my managers n' had to take a day's off.Doctor diagnosed it as sinusitis. I was prescribed anti-bio tics which I usually avoid.But this time was an exception. It was hard to concentrate on work when so much was going on. By the end of the day I felt that am completely stressed out. I couldnt take it anymore. But I promised myself not to argue with the managers in near future on any damn thing/matter.
I was talking to 'S' when he asked some weird questions which he asked me few months back. He is kind of verge of proposing to me but resisting himself because I am not taking too much of interest. I've reasons too: I never met him- its only thru our work that we got in touch & started talking. I dont know the kind of person he is but am sure that he is a nice gentleman.He is located far from this city n' I dont know but somehow I dont see myself there.I dont want to mess up with my life at this juncture. God, give me the strength to take correct decisions for myself. I dont want to commit the same mistake which i did in the past. Only thing I've realised so far is that I can live only with a person if I know him & are confortable with each other. He has to be a friend for me and rest will follow. Life is not that easy as we think. A times I think why I need a 'marriage' when am ok being single. Relatives wont like you to stay single for long u c ;-) .I've engrossed myself in so much of work that I've almost forgotten that I've a personal life too. Anyways, I would still say the same but not sure what destiny has in store for me. Meanwhile I've decided to spend the rest of my life with z00z00 ;-)
I love you, z00z00! Will you marry me ? :) I'll wait for your answer. :)
