Regret

I regret as why didn't I say "ok" when you said that you can wait for me.


This feeling is bad and this realization has come too late. I dont know what to say.


"Love the one who loves you" - Now I realize the true meaning of this quote. AJ was right when he said these lines.

Someone has rightly said it - Don't always follow your heart it can create problems and awkwardness and a lot of heartache.

Journey continues ....

Been a while since I posted anything on this space. Well, past few days were hectic. Now back to relaxed mode  :D

In the past few days I've learnt that RIP doesn't always mean Rest In Peace (Courtesy: fb) :D. Thanks to the course which I joined few days back. It was fun. Learning after so long in a new city. The institute was new to me, the faculty, pretty lady at the reception and of course how can I forget my batch mates. On the first day I took auto to reach the on time but I realized that a bus would be a good option while going back home after the classes. After all I am not earning :D But I wasn't aware as where to board the bus for my place. When I asked after the class this guy offered that he will let me know. He went all the way to the bus stop which is a good 10-15 mins from the institute and helped me to get the bus for my place. Next day I came to know that he doesn't board the bus from I do. He boards the bus from another bus stop which is hardly a few seconds walk from the institute. I was amazed. Thanks so much , Batchmate for your help!

My faculty was equally good. And the locales here talk so soft and they smile :) And I liked it. I can't compare the volume of my vocal chord with them. That will put me to shame :D Travelling by bus was even more fun :) People helped me out when this stranger needed help :D Now as the course is over I am missing out on all the fun. A good 30 mins walk from the bus stop - travelling in the bus with the route# *04

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Trip to South - I mean deep south is on card - we would be going there on 23rd. So would be spending X-mas time with my cousins, Aunts & Uncles :) Not sure when we are going to be back but hopefully should be before the new year. Lets see how things would turn out ....

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And this time I am simply not in a mood to meet any guy. Enough of all this! I can't carry on with this torture anymore. It was the same story 6 months back and no different after 6 months. Somethings never change ;-)

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My appetite for shopping hasn't reduced. It's still the same but I try to control all the 'emotions' of buying stuff - be it footwear, clothes from Madame or a lip gloss stick. I recently bought 2 suits and few kurtis - courtesy: my parents! At this age my parents are supporting me. It should be other way around but then I know my parents - they won't take a single penny from me.

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A big rainbow appeared when I came back after attending one of the job interviews. I was slightly depressed and that rainbow cheered me up ! :) It happened couple of weeks back. That was God's way of saying - Cheer up Girl! There's more good to come :)

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I am missing Delhi's winter this time. I miss every damn thing about Delhi - friends, office, gol-gappas, tikki, oranges - I mean this season has lot to offer - oh yeah - gaajar ja juice and halwa! And last year during this season was on Cloud-9. Ab****** knows y ;-) those were the good old times :)

Merry X-Mas !!! :) Peace!

Latest

Not sure what this would lead to but I want to tread carefully this time.

*****
KBC's this season's last episode was aired in the eve - today. I'll definitely miss AB's voice & the courage and strength of numerous people whom I get to see on this tv program.

*****
Priority for now: to get a job ASAP

Wish

Wish someone can understand me.

Peace!

Haircut...

Had my haircut today after a gap of 65 days :) And I paid Rs.400 for this cut.

In Delhi a haircut like this had cost me Rs.200 and I dont have to worry about it for the next 6 months.

People here in B'lore think that everyone has got loads and tons of money and they make ways to extract money from others be it auto drivers, beauticians at the Parlour or assistance at the dept. stores. Arrey bhai money pplant $$$ nahi barsaata hai 


Anyways I hope that this cut would last for another couple of months. I went for my last hair cut to the same parlour for which they changed me Rs.225

Went to another mall this gone weekend - I found good suit pieces but now the next problem is to find  a good tailor. I am telling you - thats going to be a very big challenge! :)

Peace!

Blah blah blah!

Finally I received my flipbook thru courier today. I only spent 50 bucks on this photo album :) It was worth it. I liked the prints and the size of the pics and the album is good compared to what I had on my mind.

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How people take decisions when it comes to their life partner and marriage ? - blah blah whatever...

                                                                       

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Told him that I've a huge crush on him. He is not ready to get into a relationship right now. It seems another story has come to an almost end - 

                                                                        *****

My utmost priority is to get a job ... am trying... lets see...

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This guy came along with his parents to 'see' me. He did not utter a single word to me - did not ask anything. Bizarre part - his parents are ok with the proposal. They did not ask/talk to me either. Is that how it is done in an 'arranged' marriage. The guy spoke to me over the phone after he was pestered by his parents. And his father is after my parents life regarding this proposal. They expect me to say "Yes" to them. Why ? And to top it all he sends me a request to join him in one of those social networking websites after a single phone conversation. I told him already that am not active on these sites (bolne mein kya jaata hai ;-)) but still he did it. And he tells me over the phone that I can see "about him" on one of these sites. Crap! I mean can one summarize about himself/herself on these sites. Abbey O isi site pe shaadi bhi kar lena...

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Peace! Peace! Peace! :)

Life's mystery continues

I dont feel like meeting this guy who is going to be here on 15th. - Not even 1% .

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When am I going to get a job. I don't know that yet. But am hopeful :)

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I ordered a book online which describes Mughal's art, their living & history. Mughal's life always fascinated me. They lived a luxurious life. Agra fort & the monuments of Delhi/Agra has always triggered a curiosity within myself. Book would arrive hopefully next or the next to next week. Lets see how it goes.

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Everyone I talk to these days is travelling to some place. And when I think about myself I get a bad bad feeling.

Peace!

New City - Bangalore

Yes, finally in Bangalore! Never ever imagined that I would be leaving a city like Delhi where I've spent most of my years & move down to South. Well that's what life is all about - change - constant change.

I am without a job here but the hunt is still on. And would continue till I find something good.

My cousin, her husband & her 2 kids are the people that I know here.And have met them few times. Its good to spend some time with kids. They would take you in their own world which you would enjoy. Atleast I enjoyed :)

These days I keep exploring B'lore on its map - try to look for the places that I've been to - places I come to know - places I can visit - and the distance b/w a place to mine.

Delhi roads are the best in the country :) And this BSNL broadband connection is damn slow. But I still want to explore this city with its people.

I wish my hero/crush was here ;-) Atleast I would have been to few places in this city by now. :D I'll wait till he comes back :)

Jack: How're you ? I am all well. :)

Not again

Do I have to go thru the rejections once again ?


I am not scared of rejections but atleast you can treat me like a human being. 


And I deserve that.


******                                             *****


Went thru this link : http://in.news.yahoo.com/blogs/opinions/rickshaw-drivers-vampires-bengaluru-20110416-011923-819.html 


A good one - And I liked the dead end & vampires of Bengaluru :)

break break

Need a break - break - break.


N' yes Elmo sings so beautiful -  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSYadh2xmcI - love you baby muaaaaaah!

Hangover 'over'

Landed on earth from "Cloud-50" ( thats a new term by me). And its good to accept and face the truth & the reality of life. gurrrrrrrr....  I would not under any circumstance look at my face in the mirror and smile & sing as if I had drugged myself. I would still listen to Elvis Presley's famous no - Cant help falling in love with you. And won't dream myself to be with him. Most importantly - Valentine's Day is approaching and this time I am not going to wear anything red - promise! :)

I am at peace and my blood pressure is now at a manageable level :)

blah blah blah

Its been hectic these days - reasons - weekdays am occupied with work and back by 10:15 PM and on weekends ( which are sat/sun) I attend my classes in South Ext. Kind of stressed out.

Initially when we started off with the class last month we were only 3 of us. 4th guy joined after couple of days & 2 more people joined our batch from today onwards. I somehow did not like these 2 joinees :( One of them was  trying to be smart. Anyways its just a matter of another month. The other 2 folks who joined with me they keep pulling my leg all the time. I somehow enjoy their jokes even if its on me and don't mind their mindless zokes :)

I just came to know that my present crush is 3-4 yrs younger to me .... bohoooooooo. Ok... can't say for how long this will last for me :D But its good to be happy :)

Nightmare!

This is one of my worst mornings!

I was strictly told by my parents to remove my picture where ever I posted them online. Be it facebook, orkut or whatever site it is. They think my friend list which majorly consists of guys, is the reason behind all my matrimonial rejections.

I am speechless & my brain has come to a complete halt.

Peace!

I am at peace with myself finally. Something which I've been trying for so long. This is how I was yrs n' yrs back :D Bilkul bindaas rehne ka ... duniya gayi tail lene...

This week would be going to be my last week in the morning shift for the month. Next week monday onwards would be 'rolling over' to the evening shift. I'll miss all the morning fun - watching kidos waiting for theie school bus - boarding them & at times making a hue-cry while getting into the buses. Ahhhh I'll miss that naughty kido too - he simply cant stand at one place & keep running over all the places near the bus stop. I'll miss my morning gossip session with Rekha ji :D I wish that I get the zeal back which I had months ago for the work after getting into the eve shift. Not in a mood to write more ... so would end this post here. :)

On Demand :)

On public "Castle" series for season I/II is back on star world. Cant ask for more. I need to have something to kill time :) You rock Castle! Of course not to forget its stars :)

I still have to recover from fever/weakness. I hate to visit doc but had to :(

Y**** was in Dwarka on sat. We were suppose to meet but couldnt and in the end we blamed each other. But its not fair from his side - I understand that he came all the way from Central Delhi but i wasnt well and had to visit Doc because of 2 reasons - first, the stomach pain wasnt subsiding - it was bad & killing me & secondly there are no doc avail. on Sundays - chuttie for everyone u c! I thought that we'll meet up anyways I dont think that he'll ever visit me again after this episode.

blah blah

Here I am once again... :)

Gone week was kind of adventurous - bcz of transport & health issues I went to work only for 3 days out of 7 days :) Cant ask for more. I wish & pray that transport continues to goof up with my pick up everyday ;-)

Coming to the events - not much has happened. I've clicked some pictures using my new camera n' so far the response has been good :) Yeah, uploaded few of them on fb.

I am going to miss out on few of my fav. tv serials. Castle is over - but they'll be back in Sept in US - not sure when it would be aired in India - so not complaining. Still waiting for Psych to start off with their new season - in US they'll be going live soon- we Indians have to wait longer it seems. New serial 'White Collar" doesnt seem to impress me that much as Castle did. Neal Caffrey (played by Matthew Bomer) is good but it seems he is the saving grace for the serial. How come I find these American men so smart & handsome these days ? "Friends" - one of the serials which i love to watch even today . "Ally McBeal" - had good 5 seasons - would love to watch the series again if the episodes are aired. Under the hindi serials section - "Zara Nachke dikha" ended their 2nd season yesterday - i simply loved the show & few of the contestants were damn good in dancing specially - Mukhti & Sushant. Not sure if "rishta.com" is still aired or it has ended (almost forgot this serial once I glued to "'Castle")- i liked the theme on which the story is based & every episode is shown in a different light.

"Travel & living " remains still one of my fav. channels.

Its the usual routine & all that crap. Somehow I dont feel like going to work these days. Guess time for a change now!

Castle

Here I am with a changed look of my blog. The only change I did was to template. apart from this change there were few other changes that happened in the past few days. My shift changed to the graveyard one. I woke up & find other members of my family having a peaceful night's sleep. The worst part is I get to eat alone. N' the best part - Got to watch "castle" on time everyday :) I am missing that show like anything. Its a detective serial which revolves around detective Kate Beckett & writer Richard Castle. The chemistry they've shown on the screen looks good & thats something which I always looked forward in every upcoming episodes. Not to forget his on-screen mother & daughter. Actor Nathan Fillion did a good job n' I simply loved his acting (apart from the reason that he's good looking ;-)). 2nd season is over for the serial. They'll soon start shooting for the 3rd season. I heard that they've renewed the contract for the 3rd season. I love the team - Castle. this post is dedicated to you folks!

I got a brand new Canon SX20 camera recently. I simply loved the features of this camera. Its good for people like me who have used point-n'-shoot cameras & would like to explore more. This camera is fully loaded with all kinds of features & shooting mode. I need time to play with it.

I went for my monthly shopping for this month with my parents n' mistakenly bought all the wrong stuff. Amazing! I have to use these mistakenly bought things. $$$ lage hai bhai!

Delhites are looking for some monsoon showers. Its been hot & humid for the past few days. I pray that monsoon reaches this city soon.

God bless!

The gone week was bad specially past few days.

AI plane crash is still on mind. I was shocked when watched the news on CNN yesterday. The news was covered live. I had an amazing time while travelling on AI-IA planes. I've no clue how to react but am in sombre mood today after going thru today's newspaper.

On top of it the comments made by few of my colleagues on the plane crash zooms-in on my mind when I think of plane crash. I dont believe that I work with such people & the worst part - our DM/Mnanager thinks they they're one of the mature breeds that they've promoted. I hate to share those comments but then I needs to relax - so here goes the "golden words" -

- J**** 's comment - India ki population kam ho jayegi - does he know what he's talking abt.

- A*****'s comment - with a smile on his face says they're not sure if AI is going to pay his father's salary for the month. His father works with AI.

- J****'s another comment - Mallu hi to the - referring to the people who were on board that ill-fated flight.

I dont want to admit but I work with such people who even dont know what the grieving families would be going thru. They dont know what pain, grieve is all about. They cant even share sympathy. what more can be expected from such inhumans.

Thinking about flying - I had my amazing experience with AI/IA. Their in-flight entertainment package, the food they serve.... too good. Let me count the number of airports that I've been to - Trivandrum Airport

Cochin Airport

Coimbatore Airport

Salem Airport,

Mumbai Airport,

Hyderabad Airport,

B'lore airport,

Srinagar Airport n' top it all -

Delhi Airport

Foreign Airports - San Francisco Airport, and

Heathrow Airport

** I finished Chetan Bhagat's 2 states last sunday. I completed this book in hours. :) I started reading it when I bought it from the Trivandrum Airport's book store. It went on non-stop till we reached Delhi. I gave a break when we reacjed B'lore & we boarded the flight back to Delhi :) Remaining 100+ pages were completed by me on my off last sunday. It is one of the funniest books I've read so far by the author after Five point someone.

** At work its the usual scene - this time we had a meeting (vintage folks)with our manager - not even once he appreciated our work which we did for the past couple of months since the project's inception here. Needless to say it was one of the useless meetings. The next day our DM wanted to know our max CTC so he sent out a sms. I refused to share that information with him. I am not at all comfortable.Let him get this from our HR. These guys never thought about us so why I should be bothered at all. I am seriously looking for a change now. I am forwarding my cv/talking to all the people I can.... Lets c how things work out this time....

Trip n' that special someone

I am tired after a day's work & a 4-hour night's sleep after a tiresome journey..

We left for Nagercoil on Thursday & came back yesterday night. Though it was a short trip but a nice one. I got to play with my puss cat (Pussy cat) & fed him whenever possible. Then there was baby puss cats too (kittens) - had an amazing time with them. As I am writing this post am missing them terribly.

Our flight was rescheduled/postponed from its original time by an hour or so. So accordingly we had to change our connecting flight from B'lore - courtesy Jet Airways/Jet lite. To kill the time through out the journey I had to do something. So at Trivandrum Airport at the book stall i picked up Chetan Bhagat's '2-states - the story of my marriage'. Somehow I liked his style of writing. He pitched in with humour in this story in a nicely way. I've enjoyed reading this book throughout my journey & glued to it till we landed in Delhi. I've completed 162 pages of this book & still some 100 more to go.

And somehow after going thru this book, i remembered am missing all that in my life rather i should say its just not there in my life. Its precious and makes life a lot easier.

I guess i need a good night's sleep now. Will continue this later.....

I pray that every individual n' every human being on earth feels the warmth of love n' it never leaves them......

My love...

Was completely stressed out by the events which occurred in the past week on my personal as well as on my professional end. To start with my personal end, I was made to meet a man & talk to him for 5-10 mins. I found those 10 mins the hardest moments of my life. To start with the story- this proposal was sent by my very own mamaji , reason- the guy is good & he is working in Delhi for the past few years. My parents went to see him initially. Then they decided to call the boy at our place so that 'we' (I and the boy) can 'see' each other. I had split off last week so wanted to relax on my week off but then meeting the boy was made the priority for me for that one day. I hated it but then ws left with no choice. Finally they guy came with his cousin & an uncle. Initially I was confused as who is the 'eligible boy' but somehow figured it out after few minutes of talk. His cousin did the entire talking part. N' i did not like the guy on the first instance. I thought they'll leave after few minutes. But the boy'cousin pushed 'us' to talk for few minutes though I wasnt quite interested. God, those were the toughest and the hardest minutes of my entire lifetime. I knew how I managed to talk to him. I did not ask any questions. He had questions which I answered honestly. There was some pressure from my parents to say "yes" to this proposal but I straightaway said "No" because it was a big NO from my side. Thats it. Period.

On the professional side, I was struggling to convince my manager that I wasnt at fault - an incident which happened almost a month ago n' no step was taken by my immediate boss. I was hurt by all this then came this another episode. I was forced to get examined by the doctor because they suspected me of swine flu. I had cold because of weather change n' they suspected me. Once again I failed to convince my managers n' had to take a day's off.Doctor diagnosed it as sinusitis. I was prescribed anti-bio tics which I usually avoid.But this time was an exception. It was hard to concentrate on work when so much was going on. By the end of the day I felt that am completely stressed out. I couldnt take it anymore. But I promised myself not to argue with the managers in near future on any damn thing/matter.

I was talking to 'S' when he asked some weird questions which he asked me few months back. He is kind of verge of proposing to me but resisting himself because I am not taking too much of interest. I've reasons too: I never met him- its only thru our work that we got in touch & started talking. I dont know the kind of person he is but am sure that he is a nice gentleman.He is located far from this city n' I dont know but somehow I dont see myself there.I dont want to mess up with my life at this juncture. God, give me the strength to take correct decisions for myself. I dont want to commit the same mistake which i did in the past. Only thing I've realised so far is that I can live only with a person if I know him & are confortable with each other. He has to be a friend for me and rest will follow. Life is not that easy as we think. A times I think why I need a 'marriage' when am ok being single. Relatives wont like you to stay single for long u c ;-) .I've engrossed myself in so much of work that I've almost forgotten that I've a personal life too. Anyways, I would still say the same but not sure what destiny has in store for me. Meanwhile I've decided to spend the rest of my life with z00z00 ;-)

I love you, z00z00! Will you marry me ? :) I'll wait for your answer. :)