Tuesday, April 24, 2012

For a change

Jaan kar bhi woh Mujhe jaan na paaye,
Aaj tak woh Mujhe pehchaan na paaye,
Khud hi kar li bewafai humne,
taaki unpar koi ilzaam na aaye!
Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hain,
Hum hain ki unse pyar kiya karte hain,
Khuda ne takdir me ek tuta tara nahi likha,
Aur hum hain ki chaand ki aarzu kiya karte hain!
milna itifaak tha bicharna naseeb tha
wo utna he door ho gaya jitna kareeb tha
hum usko dekhne k liye taraste he rahe
jis shaks ki hatheli pe hamara naseeb tha.....


*******


I close my eyes and I let my body shut itself down and I let my mind wander. It wanders to a familiar place. 
A place I don’t talk about or acknowledge exists.
A place where there is only me. 
A place that I hate. I am alone. 
Alone here and alone in the world.
Alone in my heart and alone in my mind.
Alone everywhere, all the time, for as long as I can remember. Alone with my Family, alone with my friends, alone in a Room full of People.
Alone when I wake, alone through each awful day, alone when I finally meet the blackness. I am alone in my horror.
Alone in my horror. I don’t want to be alone.
I have never wanted to be alone. I fucking hate it.
I hate that I have no one to talk to, I hate that I have no one to call, I hate that I have no one to hold my hand, hug me, tell me everything is going to be all right.
I hate that I have no one to share my hopes and dreams with, I hate that I no longer have any hopes or dreams, I hate that I have no one to tell me to hold on, that I can find them again.
I hate that when I scream, and I scream bloody murder, that I am screaming into emptiness.
I hate that there is no one to hear my scream and that there is no one to help me learn how to stop screaming. . .
More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn’t alone.

— James Frey

Sunday, April 15, 2012

WTH

whats happening around me and all depends how I would react ....

Saturday, February 25, 2012

:)

Finally, I nailed it ... me now CCNA certified. Feeling relieved - mere 15K bach gaye :D I dont want to think about the worse had I flunked this exam. Finished the exam in an hours time. Woke up early after a sleepless night at around 5:30 in the morning. Reached exam centre by 8 and exam started by 8:30 :) What matters is I cleared it .... feels so good. At the age of 32+ I've cleared one live examination :D While doing the Masters I actually failed in Networking exam in the first attempt ( this wasnt CCNA). I have to re-attempt it. And today I cleared this one. Wow!! I dont believe. I used to run away from Networking and its concepts and today I managed to clear the exam. I've scored 986 out of 1000. Itni padhai pehle kari hoti to aaj mein kahan hoti :P


I thank my lord with all my heart! Thank You! :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Belief and strength ...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Always trust in Him. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Another day


Convincing others at times means pressurizing them to take a step/decision which is not meant for them.

And the fight continues for that dream and for that life ........

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Few lines..

Sometimes its good to keep your feelings/emotions to yourself only. Life is precious so are these emotions. They make you feel who are you and what you are upto... When the world is after you, you walk with your head held high with no fears... Uncertainty - life is full with it. But why succumb to a pressure or a choice when you know its not for you. People cannot understand your 'life' - its you - yes YOU who has to live and fight for your own dreams - no matter how tough and far they are. God bless !

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Regret

I regret as why didn't I say "ok" when you said that you can wait for me.


This feeling is bad and this realization has come too late. I dont know what to say.


"Love the one who loves you" - Now I realize the true meaning of this quote. AJ was right when he said these lines.

Someone has rightly said it - Don't always follow your heart it can create problems and awkwardness and a lot of heartache.