:(

I overheard my parents conversation yesterday. My father was telling my mother about the marriage proposals that we are going to get - he said that only good thing about me is the color of my skin - thats it. I cant converse in my mother tongue & probably he said many more things about me which I did not get to hear. Now I've to compromise on the guys as I've crossed 30 ( and good for nothing ). Small little things have started to irritate him it seems. He did not like when I was watching Roadies yest. Starting of the week was equally bad because I got into argument with my brother & mother. Now no one is on my side. I am just not feeling good. It feels that they've killed my inner self. They're not at all happy with me because my life is not going the way they wanted. what should I do ? Probably I let them down somewhere. My father wanted me learn driving which i did but then I stopped driving because I find driving is not cup of my tea. He wanted me to get into a day shift kind of a job - am on a lookout for the past an year or so and still that search is on. He wanted me to get married like any parents wish - is that my fault too when the guys I meet ask for my salary in front of everybody/ or the guys father would ask me to take off my glasses to see if I could be a match for his son ? Is my life that worthless - am I a looser in real sense ? Tears simply roll off on my cheeks when I think of all this. Would I be able to regain my true self ?

I am sad :(

Not again

Do I have to go thru the rejections once again ?


I am not scared of rejections but atleast you can treat me like a human being. 


And I deserve that.


******                                             *****


Went thru this link : http://in.news.yahoo.com/blogs/opinions/rickshaw-drivers-vampires-bengaluru-20110416-011923-819.html 


A good one - And I liked the dead end & vampires of Bengaluru :)

break break

Need a break - break - break.


N' yes Elmo sings so beautiful -  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSYadh2xmcI - love you baby muaaaaaah!

what is it

Feeling of emptiness has creeped in ... don't know why :-|

Peace!

Listening to the 60s-70s hindi songs. 60s-70s time still mesmerizes me at times.

I was dead tired & exhausted so did not go for the classes today. I am not going to miss anything because not many were willing to come for the class today. Tomorrow would be another off. I am simply going to relax.

Peace!

Mystery

Oh boy - that filesystem part gave me nightmares yest. I was missing out on one small command & today in the class I realized when Y***** typed that command & as usual I came up with my Why question. I know these folks laughed at me but thats ok - I'll be their CEO one day & would then even out the 'balances' of the past with interest - i am kidding! Anyways these classes are fun & somehow they have brought some kind of liveliness in my life. Probably because I've come out of  my comfort zone and I travel all the way to South Ext.  Yes, only recently because of the classes that I started travelling in the DTC buses - forgot to mention - the green & the red buses. Boy ! It took me a while to get out of this zone after I moved to Dwarka.

South Ext is special to me because I've spent a good amount of time here during my college days. In fact even after college i still used to hang out there with my NIIT gang. And there's something about the life in that part of Delhi. I am full of energy (touchwood!) but little bit tired too. But thats worth it.

I promised myself that I won't behave as if I 've drugged myself. I simply can't help it. I feel so good when I see that green light in front of his name on the IM. The worst part is he doesn't even ping me to say hello :( God - You have made day & night - earth & the moon - can't you change the script of his life's patri & put my name somewhere there next to his (you know what I mean ;-) ) - no I am damn serious :D - its not that big & tough for you i believe!